i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
