I will die if light touches me.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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