dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You are the jesus of drinking
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
