Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
