drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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