Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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