We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
