Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
