This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize