what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
