I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
