now i know why i became what i already was.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just want to make out with him forever
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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