i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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