Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
