yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The best revenge is premature balding
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
