I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
