I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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