4 words: hood of his car
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize