some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
...so i touched it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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