wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
