seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize