Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
