even my farts smell like vagina
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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