i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
