That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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