pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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