Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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