he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My life is pants optional.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
