We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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