How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
