Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
