Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!

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(847): View more from Illinois

Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin

(1-862): View more from New Jersey

doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?

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(850): View more from Florida

So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.

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(503): View more from Oregon

She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING

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(519): View more from Ontario

A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!

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(470): View more from Georgia

I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?

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