I want to have your abortion
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
