is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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