that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
