This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
