Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
