well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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