i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize