You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i think my mom watched the whole time
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So much rum. So many feels.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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