White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
