THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
