I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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