Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
