is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
