how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
