You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
