dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
