I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
