Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
