How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I had to cum in my sink.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
