Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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