no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
