Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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