Plan B is the new Plan A
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Green mimosas i think yes
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
