You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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