On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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