i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
