just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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