i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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