I got chris browned last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
