WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
