I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
