I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
