I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
