Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
