walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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