Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
