:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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