I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
