Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
