I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
