so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
