Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
