Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
